she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
