my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
