How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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