btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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