Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
