please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
