I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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