I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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