Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
