hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
