i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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