Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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