I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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