I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
