so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
