Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
