i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
