Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
