It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
