dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Are my feet made of real feet?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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