1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
