Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
