she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
