i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
