I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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