I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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