Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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