yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
