dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize