That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize