Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
