I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
why is half of my head shaved?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
