this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
