you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
