i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
