Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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