im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
