Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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