Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
