im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
