i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
