Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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