I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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