# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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