I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Found your dick twin last night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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