You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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