he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
