You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
