Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you win again, gameday.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize