Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize