whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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