i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
