my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
