recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
