marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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