that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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