Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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