I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
