As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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