I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
