U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
