Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
